Monday, 7 July 2008

Poor Old Angelina

Poor old Angelina Jolie. She's certainly having a bit of a time of it. Well. According to the subject of e-mails I've received in the last 24 hours, anyway:

- Angelina Jolie shock pregnancy discovery
- Russel Crowe admits to love affair with Angelina
- Angelina Jolie giving Brad Pitt a blowjob
- Angelina Jolie suffers miscarriage
- Angelina Jolie dies in plane crash

Clearly, it doesn't take much to read between the lines.

The shock discovery must have been that Brad wasn't the father. At this point, Russel Crowe stepped forward and admitted the affair. Then, as if it wasn't one heck of a day already, highly intrusive filming footage showed her and Brad during an intimate encounter.
The shock & stress of the whole day was beginning to overwhelm Angelina by this point, so she hopped aboard a private jet to head back home. It is at this point our tale of sorrow becomes a true tragedy. The aeronautical antics of the cocky young captain in command of the craft, combined with a session of excessive binge drinking, wrought havoc upon Ms. Jolie's mental, emotional, and physical state.
She flew into a blinding rage with the pilot, screaming and yelling at him, demanding to know why he'd allowed cameras on board previous flights containing her and Brad.
This was just too much for the pilot, who was in the middle of flying a loop-the-loop, and found it impossible to simultaneously fight off Angelina whilst also maintaining control of the plane.

Or, possibly, just possibly, it's just a load of old spam.

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